i always knew i was attracted to women, but my own homophobia and my strict catholic upbringing kept me from living as a lesbian. youve asked yourself am i a lesbian? Am i gay? Am i bisexual? If youre asking yourself these questions, its a sign that you could be lesbian or bisexual. People who are not attracted to the same sex dont tend to ask themselves if they are gay or not. i also think its ok to test the waters even if you are married ( just my opinion tho) i did it in an open relationship but knew straight away it was right for me. Long story short, yes my kids are struggling as is my ex husband, at times i feel very alone and think what the hell have i done but i am glad that i am now living a life thats more me and when i am with my woman, everything is right. 01102015 0751 am et updated feb 02, 2016 at 50, i was finally able to admit to myself that i was a lesbian. I have been married for over 25 years and have a daughter, 15.